Tetris: My oldest
friend.
Moving from
one place to another can jar every perception and plank
upon which you build a life. Moving at a young age can uproot
all your friends and social outlets, without the promise
of ever grounding them again. Moving more than once, moving
three times or four times can cause depressive anxiety about
the vaery nature of constant comfort.
That is what
appeared to happen to my older sister's. I have seen U-HAUL
boxes become wailing walls to the unfairness of the late
1980's midwestern job market.
But I could
only loosely empathize with them.
They, being
popular. They, being pretty young things. They having worked,
clawed and climbed their way up the caste system that is
the AMERICAN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. All that work was wasted
when we moved, a number of times, to different towns. I
don't want to denigrate their efforts. The visceral importance
of popularity is very real, but it never seemed a priority
to me. Though I was no 11-year old rebel, fighting the unfairness
that oppresses all kids, I just didn't really care. I sought
comfort.
If you are popular
or unpopular, fat or thin, young or old, ugly or beautiful
unhappiness can find you.
And no matter
where I was, or who was talking to me, I alwasy found solice
in a pile of silicon, plastic and copper. My Nintendo.
Sure, I liked
many different games. Sure,it was fun to beat most of the
games I played, but there was one constant.
TETRIS.
The hours my
older sister's spent stewing about their place in a new
school, I spent in a world all it's own. My place in this
world was always growing. The sense of achievement, although
not valued in terms of grades or trophies was still very
real. Is still very real. I truely believe that Tetris gave
me a center. A stillness that my older sister did not have.
They have grown-up
and found things (family, career) that give them stillness,
that put them to sleep every night. And though I have moved
on, and don't play nearly as much as I used to, when I am
sleepless I look back on the hours, days and weeks I spent
with Alexey Pajitnov and not a moment seems wasted, I relax
and fade into a Tetris dream.
