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Catalog of Tetramoves

Throughout the years of Tetris battle, warriors have come and gone. While the playing field and weaponry has remained the same, a new breed of military strategy has engulfed Tetris. Here, we shall discuss some of the moves that are possible with the Tetris blocks.

 

TETRIS

Four lines depleted simultaneously. This is what we seek. This gives your opponent hell. The Tetris is the coveted Tetramove; it is regarded holy in some Middle Eastern countries. Use it wisely.

 

EXPOSING THE RECTUM

Of course, when engaged in a battle, the most prominent way to attack your opponent is with a Tetris, or four simultaneous depleted lines. This is only possible with a Cock Piece, of course, and with a Rectum. The Rectum is the column in Tetris that waits for a Cock Piece, and a good player is one that knows how to safely create a Rectum, work around it, and keep depleting lines while still maintaining the Rectum. Often, cries of "The Rectum is exposed!" can be heard; this is the signal that a player is waiting for a Cock Piece, and when he or she is visited by it, a Tetris will most likely occur.

 

BLOCKAGE OF THE RECTUM

This is what the seeker of the Tetris most dreads: the covering of the Rectum. If the player wishes to Tetris, he must either deplete the covering line or lines, sometimes a hefty task, or create a new Rectum, which of course has its share of danger involved.

 

ROTATING THE TIRES

Rotating the Tires is only feasible with the accessibility of a Middle Finger Piece. The Middle Finger Piece is rotated as it touches the ground, but before it has settled and before the next block has arrived. Here is an example:

One:
Two:
Three:

 

 

SLIDE UNDER

The act of fitting a piece, most commonly the "L" Piece or its cousin, under another piece already on the playing field.

For Example:

One:
Two:
Three:

 

 

 

RAPAGE OF THE ASS/RECTUM WITH THE COCK PIECE
(Pronounced "Rape-idge")

The victory with a Tetris; the opponent's well overfills. This often results in a tetrigasm (see the Catalog of Tetriterms)..

 

 

 

TETRICOMBO(S)

Successive depletion of multiple lines. Since each group of lines depleted at the same time give your opponent extra lines they must deplete, sometimes Tetricombos can be even more disastrous and tetranxiety-inducing than a sole Tetris. Can come in various combinations. Examples:

1. Tetris -> Double -> Triple
2. Triple -> Double -> Tetris
3. Double -> Double -> Triple

 

 

 

(TETRA)-FOREPLAY

Deliberate loss, or "fuck up," used to make the victory more enjoyable for a player. Commonly used by Tetris players of higher status against those of lower status.

 

 

 

SIDE-PEEKING

Since both players receive the same pieces in the same order (see Predestination of Blocks), a player can physically look at the opponent's side of the screen to assist his or her own ability to win. The more blocks into the future an opponent can see, the more strategy he or she can utilize.

 

 

 

FEIGNING DEATH
(Game Boy only)

While the previous technique of Side-Peeking does not work with the Game Boy version, Feigning Death is a technique that requires it. In a two-player Game Boy match, on your screen there is a vertical bar to the side of the well. This bar indicates how high up your opponent has reached. This, of course, means that your opponent can see your current height; however, this does not always reflect how well your game is going. If you are to "Feign Death," as in safely have one edge column reach a great altitude on purpose, it is possible to fool your opponent into thinking you are worse off than you are in reality.

 

 

 

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