These are the blocks that the player must use in the game. Officially, they are known as "Tetraminoes," but this label is a clear example of how capitalist American pigs have raped the original Communist glory of our holy holy game. From now on, they shall be referred to simply as pieces or blocks.

As four is key in the numerology of Tetris, all pieces are composed of four elements, or smaller blocks. The four smaller blocks can only be arranged in seven ways, and those ways are the Tetris pieces:

THE COCK PIECE

As is quite apparent for anyone who has seen a game of Tetris being played, or even participated in a competition themselves, Tetris obviously contains sexual undertones. The most prominent is the coveted phallic block, known officially as the "I-Piece." This block plays a crucial role, in that it is the main requirement for the act of a Tetris, or four simultaneous lines. The Cock Piece is the main source of most players' misery -- and joy.

THE MIDDLE FINGER PIECE

Ah, the Middle Finger Piece. Unique, as it is the only block, with appendages, that is symmetrical. The greatest number of lines you can deplete with this piece, unfortunately, is only two; however, the Middle Finger Piece is the only block that can be used for Rotating the Tires (see the Catalog of Tetramoves).

THE ASS BLOCK

Officially, this block is called the "O Piece." Oh, confound that Ass Block. It is a great source of misery. If there is no flat space for the Ass Block to rest, this is a great inconvenience. We suggest always keeping space around for the Ass Block, in case it decides to visit you. Also, you can keep rotating the Ass Block, but to no avail! It don't do shit, as the Ass Block is radially symmetrical.

THE "L" PIECE

Most players ask us, "Why do you call that one the L Piece?" Because it looks like a fucking L.

THE REVERSE "L"

Officially, this is known as the "J Piece," and like its twisted cousin, the L Piece, it can be used for a maximum of three depleted lines. Both the L and the Reverse L can be used for the Slide Under (see the Catalog of Tetramoves).

THE "Z" PIECE

The Z and S Pieces are somewhat of an oddity in the realm of the Tetris blocks. Both of these pieces have only two available positions; rotating them clockwise or counter-clockwise will end with the exact same result. A total of two depleted lines is maximum with either.

THE "S" PIECE

The sideways younger brother to the Z Piece; it's regarded as a black sheep, and everywhere Z Piece goes, it is embarrassed by S Piece.

Did you know?

There is a Tetris piece for each day of the week.