Your opponent
is leading by two lines. He just scored a Tetris, which
means he is now ahead by six lines. You need an L-piece
but there's is nothing in sight other than squares.
"Curse
those squares," you mutter to yourself. A Z-piece,
or even an I-piece would suffice. But there is nothing,
absolutely nothing in sight other than squares! The tension
builds. Your opponent is arranging his board for yet another
Tetris. You fear that this may be the final, game-ending
blow. Sweat trickles down your forehead as you press the
buttons harder than ever before. You finally receive that
L-piece you have longed for, but where will you put it?
There are several suitable places on your board but only
one ultimately "right" place for the piece. What
will you do? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
This is Tetris.
It is a widely available logic-driven puzzle for the personal
computer or home entertainment system. It is elegant in
its simplicity, yet intricate in design and multitude of
possible gaming options available to the player. Some consider
Tetris to be the "Cadillac" of video games; others
believe Tetris to be the ultimate puzzle. It is my belief
that Tetris is not merely a game. It exists in its own realm,
far above and beyond what is commonly considered to be a
game. Unlike other forms of entertainment, Tetris is a state
of mind; an interactive gateway into our human essence.
Its appeal is threefold: It is unlimited in physical demand,
it is mentally stimulating, and it is challenging on an
intimate, emotional level.
Tetris is infinitely
physically demanding of the player - far more demanding
than the average video game. While this demand may not be
evident in the lower levels of gameplay, it certainly holds
true as the player progresses past level ten. Since in Tetris
the player is often pitted against another player or against
his or her own physical inhibitions, hypothetically there
is no upper limit to this game. The lack of a set limit
means that no person will ever reach an end to the game.
Tetris players only strive to hone their physical abilities;
eye-hand coordination and the speed at which they press
the buttons on the console. The Biel-Tan Tetris Monks of
the Himalayas, most revered Tetris masters of the world
have only been able to reach level eighty and set a high
score of 8,950,582,350 - notoriously low considering the
highest possible Tetris score is infinity. Although the
Tetris Monks have the ability to focus all their Che into
the gaming console, the physical demands of the game have
limited even these most revered masters to level 80. Due
to bodily limitations, no human has ever reached Tetris
enlightenment in recorded history. Therefore unlike other
video games, Tetris is infinitely physically demanding.
Tetris is also
mentally stimulating. The Tetris player interacts with the
gaming display, anticipates the next piece, and often follows
a specific strategy or style of play. Endless mental stimulation
is possibly the single factor that has earned Tetris all
the acclaim it has received from philosophers throughout
the globe. Boris Illuchin, a legendary Russian philosopher
once stated, "This game is like puzzle - when I play,
I consider vital balance between all pieces of game."
Thus Boris Illuchin indirectly demonstrates his human ability
to analyze the gaming situation, anticipate the upcoming
tetris piece, and react accordingly by maneuvering each
piece of the "puzzle" through the two dimensional
gaming matrix. Essentially, it is our mental ability to
play Tetris that sets us apart from the animals. This mental
stimulation has many beneficial effects on the human mind.
In a resent 1998 study by The Tetris Society of America
(TSA), it was proven that children, born to mothers who
played a minimum of 3 hours of Tetris while impregnated,
scored higher SAT scores and were more likely to succeed
in business endeavors. Children born to mothers who played
Yoshi or Dr. Mario - unworthy imitation games
- were prone to work at "blue collar" jobs for
the duration of their careers. Therefore the stimulation
that Tetris provides often creates a mentally superior being.
Unlike any other
video game, Tetris is also emotionally challenging. A strong
emotional bond with the gaming console is the arbitrary
score-effecting factor of the game. Tetris is not merely
a form of entertainment, rather it is a player's most intimate
lover and closest friend. The mass suicide of the Argentinean
Cult of Tetris is a prime example of the magnitude of the
bond between the player and the game. Although such an intimate
bond can sometimes have dire consequences, such as this
cult suicide, it is intimate nevertheless. Tetris is unlike
any other video game - it connects with a person's soul.
All devoted players share a common creed: the Tao of Tetris.
This is the belief that in order to achieve a high score,
a player must not try to reach a score, but rather allow
the high score to reach itself. Thus, like trout swimming
upstream, all dedicated Tetris players strive for the distant
goal of emotional union with one's soul, more commonly known
as Tetris enlightenment. Although this realm of all-fitting
blocks has never been reached, many prophets believe that
once attained, Tetris enlightenment will govern our society.
Many believe that in the future, it will no longer be a
question of sex or chocolate, it will be a question of sex
or Tetris!
Therefore Tetris,
possibly the greatest video "game" ever, interacts
with us on three intimate levels. It challenges our bodies,
by demanding the greatest of physical condition, it interacts
with our minds by stimulating and enhancing our mental abilities,
and it interacts with out souls through the strong, emotional
Tetris bond. Its superiority over the market leaders in
the gaming industry is clear as daylight. Unlike other video
games, Tetris transcends the barriers of the human mind!
Perhaps if we all follow the Tetris philosophy, the blocks
of our lives will fall into place, and this world would
become a better environment for you and me...
