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Murphy's Law of Tetris

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's Law applies to everything in life; this is especially true in the Art of Tetris. (Please note that the following section is entirely theoretical, and may not be suitable for the beginning Tetris player.)



For those familiar, of course, with the player's lust for the Cock Piece, Murphy's Law of Tetris makes perfect sense. Whenever you most need the Cock Piece to complete a Tetris, your chances of said Cock Piece visiting you are quite diminished. Likewise, suppose you no longer have a 4-row-deep rectum: Since of course in this situation there is no chance of achieving a Tetris, a Cock Piece is more likely to visit you. No matter how much the player frets, this is a true and constant aspect of the Tetris phenomenon.

A Cock Piece is nowhere in sight...
Until you fuck up.


Murphy's Law of Tetris looms over all of us. This is a shadow which causes us much pain and anguish... but we do have methods that can fight against it.


Fighting Murphy's Law of Tetris,
Step 1: Create a Rectum

Imagine the following scenario: You have created a wonderful rectum, perfect for sending a barrage of garbage to your enemy with a Tetris, or perhaps in preparation for an awesome tetricombo. You are anxiously awaiting a Cock Piece. And, of course, the Cock Piece never comes. Sometimes it will, but often your screen will fill before even the hint of a visiting Cock Piece. This is where you must take advantage of Murphy's Law. However, you must be sure not to outright declare that you are attempting to subvert Murphy's Law of Tetris; if you are to outwardly awknowledge this before the fact, than you will most likely have no success in overcoming Murphy's Law of Tetris. This is the way Murphy's Law of Tetris often works, and we must bear with it.



Of course, it may be that my suggestions for subverting Murphy's Law of Tetris may become nill and void since they are being outright declared on this website. So, take my suggestions with a grain of salt, since they are no longer embedded deep within the conscious of the Tetris player. For example, if you wash your car, it will rain. But, in this particular suburban scenario, if you say outright, "I'm going to use Murphy's Law to my own benefit. I want to water my lawn, so I'm going to wash my car, which will make it rain," and then you wash your car, it will not rain.

The same applies to Tetris. Be careful what you say while playing, as it might affect Murphy's Law of Tetris.


Step 2: Clog Your Rectum

Yes, you read right. Clog the rectum you've just created in Step 1.

"Blasphemey!" the Tetris player unaware of Murphy's Law of Tetris might exclaim.

"But," another average Tetris player might interject, "I need that rectum to make a Tetris!" Well, this is true. A wise observation, but you still have more to learn. You see, the clogging of the rectum must be a temporary one.

In order to be a temporary clogging of the rectum, you must pay close attention, as always, to what piece you are to receive next. If you are for certain that the next piece to visit you will unclog your rectum, and return your playing field to Tetrisability, then you can go ahead and clog it with your current piece.

"Why clog it?" the naïve, foolish player asks. Haven't you been listening? If your rectum becomes clogged, then a Cock Piece is more likely to arrive. This is using Murphy's Law of Tetris to your advantage.


Step 3: Unclog the Rectum

After clogging the rectum, unclog it. (As I've mentioned, using the automatic soothsaying aspect of the game will help in this respect.) However, if we are to believe that having the rectum being clogged will increase the chance of a Cock Piece visiting you, then we are also to assume that the worse this clogging -- the more unsalvageable the rectum -- the more likely it is that a Cock Piece shall visit you. You may choose to use this to your advantage, perhaps by clogging the rectum by two or more lines, but this can get risky, as the likelihood is high that a Cock Piece will visit before you've completely unclogged the rectum. Beware of this and you may be using Murphy's Law of Tetris to your own advantage in the future.

In our example here, the player made sure that the rectum would be restored after the next piece. This is no doubt the safest method.


A Final Warning

If you do end up attempting to utilize Murphy's Law of Tetris, beware! Murphy's Law of Tetris is in no way a replacement of a real Tetris. Do not let trying to execute a maneuver interfere with your playing of the actual game. For example, note the image on the left. Murphy's Law of Tetris tells you to put the Ass Block on the very left, clogging your rectum, and use the next piece to unclog the rectum. However, in this example, the next visiting piece is the illustrious Cock Piece! Common sense conquers any techniques or strategies involving Murphy's Law: don't let the Ass Block clog the rectum when your next piece, the Cock Piece, brings you the Tetris you're trying to receive in the first place.

Don't make things more complicated than they need to be.



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